You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
