If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
