hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
