i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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