just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
