I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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