just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
