I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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