Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
