wakey wakey hands off snakey
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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