just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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