she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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