I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
