So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
