I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
