how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
