i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
