I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
