I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize