My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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