Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Randomize
