Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
