a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize