Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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