So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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