I am in a vortex of obligation.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
