he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
