I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
