Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
