I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
