3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
they're like a gay fantastic four
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
