i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize