Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
