you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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