Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
