so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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