You made me cry and you don't even care
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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