...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
