bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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