I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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