She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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