GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
