dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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