It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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