It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize