I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
