He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
