On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
