We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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