my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
