"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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