I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Oh god it's open bar.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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