I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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