I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
