you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Green mimosas i think yes
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
