Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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