i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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