i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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