Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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