Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
