Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
be right there i have to get my cape
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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